The More Personal The Emotion, The More Universal It Is

Once again I was learning from pick-up artists and got a lesson that literally blew my mind. Although this wasn’t directly related to getting girls, it was actually from a program called “On Being a Man(That Naturally Attracts Women)” by David DeAngelo. I guess it was indirectly related…guilty.

If you’d like, you can get a preview of this presentation in the video below:

Watch David Deangelo-On Being A Man – DVD1.avi in Educational |  View More Free Videos Online at

This might make you understand a little more of what I’m actively listening to/learning at this point.

I was riding the bike at the gym and listening to this series and he was speaking about becoming comfortable with your feelings and learning how to properly react to them. As a man, I’ve definitely noticed that it’s hard for me to control emotions at times and that I’d often push feelings down so I didn’t have to address them.

In fact, I’d go to the gym if I felt any type of emotion that I couldn’t handle. I never really thought about it before, but I was using exercise as an outlet for getting away from addressing my true feelings. If I felt mad, I would go to the gym and work my ass off lifting heavier weights. I felt like this was a healthy way to control my emotions.

I still think it’s a healthy way, but there’s another aspect to it that I couldn’t just ignore the actual feelings.

I’m not saying that I’m 100% comfortable with my feelings right now but i’m learning that I need to learn to control my feelings. It’s scary to think about, because I would literally just bundle up my feelings and try to hide them.

During this program, David DeAngelo actually said…

“The more personal the feeling or emotion, the more universal it is”

My first reaction to this was “bullshit”.

My emotions are mine and no one’s ever experienced them because they are mine.

I kept riding the bike and just kind of passed over this information. It wasn’t until about 5 minutes later in the audio that I started to think to myself about my personal experiences with this.

The posts I’ve written on my blog that were more personal connected with people on a deeper level and had more interactions…

The videos I’ve created that were me talking one-on-one instead of planning had more people interacting…

When I open up and speak to people, we connect on a deeper and more meaningful level.

It seems that the more personal I become with things I’m sharing online, the more I am able to connect with people.

Oh man, David DeAngelo was right again!

How Should I Use This Information?

I’ve wanted this blog to become more of a personal diary and journal of different phases i’m going through in my life and in the back of my head i’ve worried about what people will think of the blog and of me.

I was worried that maybe someone will call me stupid or weak for sharing who I am.

I was worried my friends would think i’ve gone off the deep end and am turning into some kind of a crazy freak (although my friends know i’m pretty crazy already).

I’ve let this feeling get the best of me and hold me back a lot of the time because I was trying to please other people. When I created content I would try to be all professional and try to be a sales guy at times so that I would appear to be more professional.

So, at this point in my life I am going to try to become more comfortable with who I am and try to share different feelings and emotions that I go through on my Entrepreneurial journey. This means I’ll probably end up sharing stories about how I’ve failed miserably as well as stories where I’ve experienced success.

It’s crazy to think about back to when you were younger and couldn’t really control your emotions at all. Our hormones would often make us do crazy things and things we would later regret.

A Feeling of Grief

In the program, David talks about feeling grief when certain things would happen in his life. He mentioned that his first reaction to things was often grief and he used to just take it as that.

As he’s grown, he’s learned that grief is simply the first emotion that shows up and there are often deeper emotions that we keep hidden from ourselves. For example if a family member were to pass away, he would feel grief instead of other emotions.

Image: graur codrin /

He mentions that as he’s grown older he has been able to actively recognize this initial feeling and then get to the actual under-lying feelings he was experiencing. I want to be able to recognize different feelings I have and actually learn how to properly deal with them as a mature man.

I’ve got some work to do…


Do you have trouble with controlling emotions? Do you have any tips or tricks to becoming more comfortable with your emotions and embracing them instead of hiding them inside?



Chris Hughes

Chris loves learning, going on adventures, surfing and having fun. Chris on Google+

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Debbie Webb - June 15, 2011 Reply

Try to recognize physical changes in your body as stress inducing situations occur.
Awareness of this will allow your mind to move forward into a problem solving mode.
By the time the negative situation is at its worst and all of the people around you are cringing in anticipation of your outburst you will already have a solution worked out.

Chris Hughes - June 15, 2011 Reply

Ooooh I like that! So it’s like practicing reacting to emotions to be able to control them during “game time”.

This resonates with me because I would always practice for sporting events prior to game time :-p

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