In this post I’m going to talk to you about what I’ve learned from studying pick-up artists and how attraction works. It’s possible that you are uncomfortable reading about pick-up artists and believe that what they do is dirty and manipulative. If you believe that, I understand completely why you feel that way because some of them are dirty and manipulative and I address that.
However, learning about picking-up chicks from various books such as Double Your Dating and The Game has actually helped me evolve as a person. It’s crazy to think about how my curiosity for picking up girls has led me to grow as a person.
Why Did I Want To Learn From Pick-Up Artists?
Think about it for just a second, pick-up artists have a bad rap.
They are considered seducers, manipulators and sometimes womanizers.
Why in the hell would I ever want to learn from people like them?
First things first….I’m a guy and I like to meet attractive & intelligent women.
I want to be able to turn girls who I am attracted to into girlfriends if I choose to. I want to be able to have a great relationship with a girl so that we can add value to each others life.
I also love having a hot girl on my arm when I’m walking around places, it boosts my ego.
These are all skills that pick-up artists have…and I like learning from people who can do what I want to do 🙂
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I can get to the message here…
How Did Pick-Up Help Me?
It all started when I was about 16 years old and came across the Double Your Dating eBook from Eben Pagan, aka David DeAngelo 😉
I was always interested in how to have the best girlfriend and have always been obsessed with learning. I read the book once when I was 16 and then started doing the stuff. It worked great and I had an awesome relationship for a few years throughout college.
That relationship ended and I was back in the “single” life and didn’t really like it. I was comfortable in a relationship and felt like I should still have been in one. This caused me to really question who I was and who I was becoming with my life and if I liked the direction I was taking.
I seemed to be getting better at school, learning a lot about business and marketing and was in good shape thanks to P90X kicking my ass for about 6 months straight. But something was missing…
I had all those aspects of my life together and realized I wasn’t fulfilled with living the single life and wasn’t even taking the time to meet girls. It’s funny how when some things in life are going well, you forget about other things.
Over the summer of 2010 I really started to get back into the dating stuff I had once read. I then bought a few more products from David DeAngelo and eventually got books from all these other “pick-up artists”.
I spent countless hours going through this information. I mean hour upon hour…upon hour.
I would listen to it while working out, while driving my car, while walking to class and when I was just lounging around.
While going through one of David DeAngelo’s many products, I noticed something. He was recommending a ton of books that had absolutely nothing to do with getting laid. He was recommending books about psychology, becoming an alpha male, becoming a better version of you, business books and getting your life together.
My initial thoughts when I saw this…
How is this going to get me laid??
Yep, I’m just being honest here 🙂
I’ve learned that when mentors tell you to do something or read something, it’s best to just do it.
Eben Pagan aka David DeAngelo is one of the smartest guys I’ve ever learned from in both marketing as well as in dating. Therefore I take his advice.
I put off reading a lot of these books for months because I didn’t think they had anything to do with getting more girls to like me.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that I really started to understand why he was recommending these books.. they provide insight into human nature, why we do what we do and how to truly become a mature masculine man.
The first book that I dove into of this nature was King, Warrior, Magician, Lover which talks about the 4 archetypes of the masculine man.
Honestly when I first started reading this book, I was thinking what the hell did I get myself into? (I’ve found that this is usually a good sign)
After finishing the book I realized that there is a combination of all of these archetypes in every man and it was all about finding a balance that works for you.
We all have the King, the Magician, the Warrior and the Lover inside ourselves. It was profound when I started to recognize why I would become territorial about things and why I felt certain feelings when hanging out with certain people.
I wrote a blog post with more information on these archetypes here.
Me? A Superior Man?
I remember when the book The Way of The Superior Man came in the mail. I looked at it and was instantly intimidated.
It said right on the front cover “A Spiritual Guide To Mastering The Challenges of Women, Work and Sexual Desire”. Seriously, what was I getting myself into?
This book talked about becoming a mature masculine man and giving up all the bullsh** that comes with being a boy.
I thought to myself “oh man, I can’t act like a jackass at all anymore” and got a little sad…
However, after reading the book, I realized it was more about becoming true to yourself and accepting who you are and evolving into who you ultimately want to become.
Nice! I can still act like a goof from time to time! It talks about how to really connect with your true purpose in life, how to find out what women really want, what makes a good lover for women and a ton of other stuff.
How did I get sucked into something like this? All I was supposed to care about was picking up hot girls anywhere I went!
- You need to be fulfilled whether you are single or in a relationship.
- You need to live a life that makes you happy and a life that is interesting to you.
- You need to find a way to add value to another person and the only way you can do that is by improving yourself.
It’s dumb for any man to expect a woman to just be attracted to him for playing video games and drinking beer.(don’t we all wish)
The man needs to be in pursuit of his personal mission and doing things that improve him as a person so that he is fulfilled himself. A woman will only add to your life and can not be the sole reason for a man’s happiness.
Learning from these “masters of pick-up” has taught me the important aspects of how attraction works between men and women, but I never expected it to help me grow as a person.
I now understand why some women are attracted to jerks and not necessarily the “nice guys” and why certain traits about a man are attractive to women. This is great because the things that yield this result actually bring the man on a journey of becoming a man.
The cool thing is that I don’t have to be a jerk to attract these girls either. I can be chivalrous and very polite so my momma is proud, yet still build up attraction and sexual tension. It’s honestly amazing how much I’ve learned and how I can still be a good guy to girls while busting on them and having a fun relationship.
I’m so grateful that I stumbled across this information and will continue to read more and more about attraction, becoming a better man and everything else that I can devour within this community.
I never thought that learning about hooking up with girls would take me on a journey of learning about things like reading body language, learning about NLP, and various other things.
Have you ever studied anything that has to do with picking up guys or girls? If so, what are your experiences? Did you learn a higher message than what was just on the surface?